I have been warned that writing a blog may be a good thing. Developing a subject, and I have many, is a good starter evidentially. I could explain to you my dissatisfaction around my current vocation, I have had all this stuff going on in my head but lack the motivation to bring it into reality. I try so hard to avoid the dogma of societal programming but occasionally I fail, and I weep. But I always carry that same sense of reason.
2 comments January 25th, 2016
Haven’t posted in like gazzilions of amounts of time stuff… Good reasons I have none. But now I feel something stirring that makes me want to write inane bullshit. I have always questioned the existence of this blog and why I bother writing stuff because, let’s face it, I am no linguist or great story teller, I tend to air my thoughts and bore people that is all, if you are still reading I pity you.
After recent events I have so much shit going on my head and I can’t express how anxious it makes me being unable to rip someones’ eyeballs from the sockets! I have people judging me, that’s a product of societal programming but it bothers me not, I once became very selective of the ideas I created for posts within this blog so as to accommodate those who I knew read it and also to absolve me of any guilt regarding third party encounters. Now however, I couldn’t give a toss. If you don’t like what I write then fuck off and read something else, I am going to go into a realm I personally entered in my early teens that has controlled everything I ever did and every decision I have ever made in my life since… Death!
More specifically Conspiracy Data, Armageddon, Religion, Nuclear Weaponry, World War etc. We have entered a new era in these ‘end days,’ humanity should be ashamed of itself, there must be other thinkers who conclude equally and view the utter futility in which our society is governed. ‘Fear and greed are potent motivators. When both of these forces push in the same direction, virtually no human being can resist.’ Andrew Weil points out here how the government has us by the balls, they make us greedy, continuous advertisements in every media, on the pavements, adorning every city corner within our every day lives, driving us to consume, consume, consume! The fear comes form those Terrorists, created out of thin air by who the fuck knows, but for a very clear purpose, to make you subservient and responsive to the media. Consume! Fear! Oblige! I don’t know what they are up to, a New World Order possibly, a grand selection process pre-nuclear annihilation may even explain why there seems to be a drive for collection of massive amounts of personal data disguised as ‘Facebook Apps’ or ‘Surveys.’ These chosen ones, destined for the bunkers, may even be the church goers, the religiously inclined, chosen because they match the exact criteria for subservience within a New World Order…maybe.
Add comment December 6th, 2015
It’s the 10th July today… My daughter is 21 in 1 week, my brother is marrying in 2 and we are off on holiday in 3. Not sure what the point is in this post I just can’t sleep, have all sorts of stuff in my head and now Sophie has woken up! (12.12am) Friday so weekend looms, must make use of the time, out to Friston Forest for sure on the bike and then devise a long route for Sunday. Training schedule mentions a 3 hour ride… That could be 30 miles!!! I have a 20 mile route sorted so might just do that. Hmmm…
1 comment July 10th, 2015
Feeling the need to update this blog so it doesn’t appear too neglected. Been out on the bike a lot lately and working toward this charity event so any energies are related to that. Had some bad luck lately, things seem to be taking off but there is always something along the way to bring you down a few levels, guess I’ll stick with the old Japanese proverb ‘Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight! But hey luck changes right? In a raw sense I am one of the luckiest guys about but you have to fit in and tow the line and do things that make you appear respectful to the rest of the community. When I fail I don’t handle things very well, at least I didn’t in the past, maybe I should use my experiences and turn them in my favour. I still stick two fingers up to society and I probably always will, but I am a no activist, I am a modest fellow and prefer a path of low resistance. I watch the world around me with interest, I listen to people and their views with an open mind, I have few opinions of my own and no beliefs, what’s the point when there is always a counter argument and who really knows anyway? Nobody.
Add comment July 7th, 2015
Things are beginning to come together, there is now one and a half stone less of me than there was 3 months ago, my diet these days is Lisa’s Slimming World Health Plan and I’ve blown the PKU diet out the window as I am rubbish at it, although I was eating like a sparrow at times I still remained as fat as a house. I have set myself a goal to take part in the BHF London to Eastbourne multi-terrain bike ride (You may donate here) for which I have begun to ramp up the training and enlisted with several other organisations relating to ‘off roading’ so I can hopefully get involved with other events locally, we have also kitted out the garage as a gym so I have no excuse not to work out of an evening. Another idea is to write a mini blog tracking my training progress etc. which may encourage more people to make a donation.
UPDATE 11/6/15:
Click This For Charity Off Road Blog
Add comment June 8th, 2015
Aha! Another post, does he have some interesting piece of news to share I hear you ask, or maybe he’s embarked on a new venture or started a project? Probably neither. Down to 4pm finishes at work so I can spend a bit more time with the family and lost 10lb body weight in two weeks, these are the only significant things really, that’s really how dreadfully dull I have become. Any way, I have an urge to take my PC apart now so that is all. Bye bye.
Add comment April 18th, 2015
Why do people write blogs? I just Googled it and it seems my reasons are a little sad, most people blog about things they are interested in to a depth in which other like minded people respond for advice or assistance etc. I talk about how I feel, PKU, some techy stuff, that’s about it… I know if I dedicated this site to PKU and provided the links, it would become a quite vibrant place, but my problems with PKU get in the way. Technically I am not a master of anything, so I could not keep up a detailed blog of interesting artefacts about any particular subject to make the site useful for that purpose. This blog will continue I hope, I have had mixed feedback from others that have read it. There will never be a solid subject nor will anything necessarily connect as it will always be me at the helm, whatever that means.
1 comment April 3rd, 2015
As I began to worry about my low moods and an exponential overspend this month I decided to take back control. Part of this was the purchase of Tyrosine capsules from Holland and Barrett. I usually use Bulk Powders (.co.uk) but needed to start immediately, these are mainly sold as an aid to training in sports or other physical activity where an increase in focus and concentration is of benefit. Tyrosine is an amino-acid, years ago I did some quite in depth research in to the metabolism of protein and in particular the amino acids Tyrosine and Phenylalanine, Phenylalanine is a precursor to Tyrosine, Tyrosine being necessary for the synthesis of certain hormones and neurotransmitters in particular Dopamine and Noradrenaline, the latter most responsible for vigilant concentration in contrast to its most chemically similar hormone, Dopamine, which is most responsible for cognitive alertness. My condition prevents the production of Tyrosine from Phenylalanine, so naturally my Tyrosine levels are rock bottom at times, go figure. So I prescribed myself pure Tyrosine and the results were quite significant, lately I have been taking a large dose in comparison the recommendations on the label but this coupled with a normal diet, which I still feel guilty pangs about, means the fog doesn’t exist and my focus has improved along with my general well-being. Maybe this is my way of being in control, the diet I find difficult to sustain maybe even impossible, I need to settle my mind as to how I can manage this condition, remain focussed and alert and above all be happy, not only for my sake but those closest to me, I owe it to my family.
Add comment March 27th, 2015
I wander… Not only in my own solitude but when I am busiest, recreationally I relax and read or play a game or practice an instrument, when I work I seek the path of least resistance coupled with the most favourable outcome, finding ways to ease monotony is an area in which I have learned to excel, I am never bored. This is a sudden revelation and something compels me to try and explain, I have never regarded myself as lazy but analytical, I am far happier solving a problem than I am fitting ‘a part’ so to speak. Seeing an easier way to complete a task and not rewriting the procedure is futile to me. A bloke who I worked alongside in Edwards High Vacuum once said to me, ‘A lazy person will always find the easiest way to do things.’ Brilliant! The reason this phrase stayed with me is because of it’s subtle oxymoronic overtones and enduring prevalence to the fact that the possibility of creativity was so ignorantly rejected, or maybe he was just a very clever cynic (doubtful), a signature of our times I suppose. But there are rules that need to be adhered to so that we fit in and continue as we do.
The fact is I will continue to write all this random stuff down because it appeases me a little, puts certain things to bed and forces me to be honest. Like a private diary hidden under a bed, this blog infuses the passion in me to be open and honest, knowing that one day somebody will undoubtedly run their hand under the mattress.
3 comments March 6th, 2015
Had a crap day at work today. I do not classify my profession as “Plumber.” But there are some technically inept employees within the firm I am employed by, so it seems if the shit hits the fan, send Craig in to save the day! This is a procedure I wish to cut short before I become everybody’s bodge fixer. I have tactfully prepositioned myself in an electrical sense, 17th Edition looming, as most guys don’t do electrics (fair-do), whereas I don’t really want to do water, my job title is Commercial ‘GAS’ Engineer after all. But today everything fought me, I found myself cutting through brass nuts and slicing olives to enable things to fit, bends on pipes that are normally straight, in fact anything to make it hard work, appeared. Which is why I hate plumbing and I don’t do plumbing and I did a commercial gas course and I will wire anything just to get out of changing a f***ing 3 port valve!
I miss my desk at Drallim Industries, not a drop of water or a smelly council tenant in sight, just a PC with Proteus, a prototype bench and a kitchen across the hallway offering free coffee and 2 microwave ovens just incase the hippy from the shop floor beat you to it with her seaweed and chickpea falafel lunch, if that job re-appeared tomorrow paying 10K less than I earn today, I would snap it up. Nothing makes you feel more wasted than doing a job you are over qualified for and don’t like doing but pays more than the job you really want to do and should be doing!
I try to convince myself I have a decent job and still with a nose in on the technical aspects, but day to day, it sure doesn’t feel that way. It would be a start if I could apply my experience in a design sense or even in a supervisory role, but just waiting for an opportunity seems futile to me these days. So, carry on eh? Or talk to people? I need to move on, I cant be hanging upside down in an airing cupboard for much longer.
Add comment February 28th, 2015
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