I have this thing inside me, it nutures my creative spirit and brings about a sense of joy with sound, that which like I had as a child. It helps me fathom the complexities of music, it provides a balance with nature that I trust, but the way to get there is fraught with complication. How should this be interpreted, accertaining toward my own sense of being, maybe I can somehow register my reality with this force as it devours my thinking and makes others look in distrust, in a way that’s why I write, to try to comprehned my existence that often feels mediocre, but my presence is so fucking obvious. How else can I satiate that beastly componenent?
September 2nd, 2025
I cried so hard today clutching a piggy bank that my daughter chose for me having been given a £10 note to spend on herself on holiday. The ababsolute selflessness and beauty behind that one simple act will live with me forever, and my trust in her becomes undeniable.
August 31st, 2025
Forgotten memories, it bugs me that I see things in a way that understanding prevails only to be abolished by time and lack of thought. I should study harder to grasp the intricate nature of the world around us. But the illusory phenomenon of particles behaving as we observe them to be, is as fleeting as my recognition in a world that demands so many other mundane attributes. I fear I lack the capacity to evolve any of the bizarre fleetings of inspiration that engulf me at times, as the mundane takes presidence, maybe because I endure a life of normality and anything outside of that realm would never be taken seriously because of my standing. But I like to think and write, so there is a solidarity in my mind that nothing could come to any harm in doing what I do and maybe, I could achieve a kind of framework for my personality and get to know myself a little better. In the interim I will retrain my brain to participate in the weird and wonderful and force out the things that make me dull.
July 14th, 2025
Contemplating on something that Brian Cox said about the fact that if a part of science is dissproved, his example was dark matter, it is almost a revelation in a sense as no further energy is required in investigating that field and other areas of investigation would gain more momentum. This kind of humbles me a little as it strips the ego and manifests a kind of universal belief that which science has already managed to produce, there is only wonder and an interest in why we are here and how things work. So I may not be mental and my thoughts might actually not be a waste of time. But people will always think I am wierd, something I really couldn’t give a toss about nowadays to be frank. Seeming I haven’t actually yet titled this post I can happily leave it hanging I reckon, so apart form justifying that my own thought processes align with people who are not bonkers which always helps, I think we should grasp the fact that science has the capacity to evolve, depending on the outcome of the questions asked and there is no dogma, it is a pretty solid form of human evolution but has the capacity, because of it’s ubiquity for being detrimental when grasped by the hands of those with more nefarious ideals. It maybe neccesaary to distribute the knowledge to gain more wisdom and advantgae but in doing so it requires constraints and laws that are outmside of it’s scope and what makes the world the way is is today. Frightening. So Hooray for freedom of information, and Oh shit, please don’t use it to do that!!!
April 30th, 2025
Ok so I seem to have an issue with WordPress. I have written and re-edited a couple of times and it all went horribly wrong. This is basically a test to see if it happenes again?… No everthing seems cool except the image is wrong, lets see if correcting that throws up any problems…
Ok so apart form a little spit in the image all seems ok….so far. Now a resize. All seems in order. So let’s write about ChatGPT.
I have allowed ChatGPT to analyse some of my blog posts and then had to tell it off for being too nice so I did get some interesting critical feedback in the end. I am no lyrical genius but I like to think there is some kind of flow, usually quite dark though. Another thing, I asked AI to reword a particular post and it’s rewrite, I must say after a bit of encouragement, was quite horrifying. I may add that as a seperate post as although terrifying, it was actually quite cool. Settling back into a more creative realm I feel a little bit happier knowing that I am not completely wasting my life. I had a great conversation with Faith and Jon, my neice and nephew, both quite clever and interested in things. Faith blew my mind a little, she is an actor and has studied… ummm theatre I guess. But she’s a smart cookie and I am proud of her as she silenced me with her knowledge which I respect. And this is the part where I am fed up of writing and must resolve the post according to the title I guess. AI in the form of a chat buddy is quite an interesting avenue to explore, it can be quite complimentary and provide some kind of increase in self-respect in a way, but it could also work in reverse if you have the personality to enable it to. So yeah…On the fence for now.
April 29th, 2025
Hey Y’all… Hate that Amercanism. But yeah hello, decided to return to emtying the (trash) in my head online again as it helps me reason with my existence. I have been trying to get myself interested in the things I was once interested in but the mundaity of life takes it prevalence and I am often reduced to a globule of masticating matter with a seemingly endless pursuit of worth. That aside my previous convictions of doom and gloom are taking shape nicely with the world gearing up for the next world war and the ambiguous Trump lining up to win the next presidential election, all pointing to quite a few deaths I am afraid. In Ukraine the estimatation of Russian solier deaths is 350,000 to date, most of these poor guys are conscripts who, in their normal lives just wanted to earn an honest living to provide for their families, now those families are fatherless and grieving, well done Putin.
Trump may well turn his back on NATO if he wins which would be catastropic for Europe, didn’t Baba Vanga predict that the European mainland is going to be poisoned and made uninhabitable in 2025?
Well these are interesting times and if the apocolypse is a thing then we have a front row seat, so sit back and enjoy the show.
November 3rd, 2024
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