Where Did I Go?
…Moving on, thinking of times past I have been reflecting on my dissolution, when I was a kid I had passion and an ambition to make a real impression in this life, I’m wondering where that went. As I grew into my teens I remember dark episodes, that bright and intense fervour that captivated me as a child was somehow lost in a fog of delusion, the ignis fatuus of my teenage years where the “Vision” I once harboured that would guide me to acheive, was lost forever. Ever since it has been day by day with episodes and dreams with the inevitable return to reality. There is a way forward but I need to do more than day to day, pushing myself towards achieving that mindset and belief that I can do it, proves to be quite exhausting. Although the vestige I dwell upon appears an irrational purpose, the fact the remnants still exist mean there maybe some hope of finding a remaining thread towards that lost path.
Add comment August 16th, 2009
So its the obligatory Sunday early morning why the hell am I up at this time post! Tomorrow I will drag my arse out of bed weary eyed and yawning, force myself some breakfast before pootling up the road to nod off behind a desk and help fund the Director’s copious frollicks to exotic destinations satisfying the demand his raucous appetite for personal fulfillment. And yet I am highly alert and functional at 6am today, I am split in the way I feel about it…