Posts filed under 'Personal'
I have the following week off work…YAY!!!! But I must use the time productively, I had a week off at the beginning of August and did sod all, another factor is that the Landlord rang Wednesday and wants to do a spot check, six months is approaching so I guess it’s to be expected although I can’t help feeling that someone in the street has said something even though we have kept our noses clean and not caused any problems (at worst Joe squirted his water pistol at next door’s car), this may stem from past tenancies I’ve had the privilege to endure. Not a lot needs doing, I have drilled a hole in the front for satellite coax and I need to pin up the cable and seal the hole, also a big lump of plaster dropped off inside that needs correcting. Tidy the garden a little, nothing drastic, I have the feeling the Landlord’s bought this property from new with a buy to let mortgage popular at the time and have never lived here, it’s basically the original decor and the garden is practically all backfill and impossible to dig over without a JCB. So their interests are purely financial and I suppose they just need to know we aren’t moving in illegal immigrants or having camp fires in the living room before they renew the tenancy agreement. Anyway I’m off to B&Q for cable clips and a few other bits and pop into Maplins for a F type connector and a box to put on the wall.
I see Chain is building antennae, I need to build another 2 meter jobby to put on the roof something I hope to do this week, if Chain is back from lands afar I could ask him to help with testing and setting it up. Right must get on with my to do list, bfn.
August 31st, 2009
Here’s daughter number 3, Ava Mae Leman so tiny and fragile I worry constantly. It’s been a long and tiring journey for all involved but it is more or less at an end only to begin a new one with a more certain future. This time last year I was contemplating a miraculous and radical change in my life to help release me from the rut where I was trapped, I considered working away either abroad or the West Country or signing up with the VSO to do voluntary work in a foreign climb, another probably more realistic notion was to take on the responsibility of my Daughter and her friend and move into a new home. I never dreamed I would become a Father again, I always wanted lots of children but with the right person. That radical change, albeit unexpected and inconceivable this time last year, has run it’s course and I am now in a new life with a fresh pattern for the future and people to share that future with.
August 30th, 2009
Sleep deprivation is beginning to have a bizarre effect on me. I am having to force myself to be alert at work and I’m not always successful, although I don’t collapse in a heap on my desk and make strange snorting noises I do find my mind drifting aimlessly amongst a plethora of white fluffy clouds as if I am dreaming while awake. At one point I was writing down some technical details of an eeprom device and where I should have written “Not recommended for new designs,” I wrote, “Not recommended for games in the corner!” This is where I began dreaming of playing a games consul in my front room in mid sentence, the TV etc. being in the corner of the room, so I guess I need to be getting more sleep. I did go to bed at a reasonable hour last night but ended up watching The Matrix Revolutions until gone 1am, having a TV in the room is not a good idea. Anyway as I add another little bit I am thinking of my bed and how I’m going to wake up several times before I have to and then begin that mundane cycle over again.
August 20th, 2009
…Moving on, thinking of times past I have been reflecting on my dissolution, when I was a kid I had passion and an ambition to make a real impression in this life, I’m wondering where that went. As I grew into my teens I remember dark episodes, that bright and intense fervour that captivated me as a child was somehow lost in a fog of delusion, the ignis fatuus of my teenage years where the “Vision” I once harboured that would guide me to acheive, was lost forever. Ever since it has been day by day with episodes and dreams with the inevitable return to reality. There is a way forward but I need to do more than day to day, pushing myself towards achieving that mindset and belief that I can do it, proves to be quite exhausting. Although the vestige I dwell upon appears an irrational purpose, the fact the remnants still exist mean there maybe some hope of finding a remaining thread towards that lost path.
August 16th, 2009
So its the obligatory Sunday early morning why the hell am I up at this time post! Tomorrow I will drag my arse out of bed weary eyed and yawning, force myself some breakfast before pootling up the road to nod off behind a desk and help fund the Director’s copious frollicks to exotic destinations satisfying the demand his raucous appetite for personal fulfillment. And yet I am highly alert and functional at 6am today, I am split in the way I feel about it…
1) It gives me some “me” time and I know I’m not wasting away the daylight hours cocooned in a continental quilt.
2) Surely if I was able to lie-in I would perform better during the week.
The occasions I do lay in are usually associated with a bender the night before, in which there’s no point even considering how it will affect me. There is probably a good reason why I am awake now though, I don’t think it has anything to do with having had enough sleep or busting my neck for a pee, it’s more likely because I could hardly breathe and didn’t have my inhaler, on top of sneezing 48 times and accumulating half a forest’s worth of toilet paper in the bed; It’s August, my time for Hay Fever. Wouldn’t it be lovely to be healthy again, now I know what my Parents were going on about during my years of ignorance.
Anyway I’m sure there’s a topic in there somewhere but the house is beginning to awake and my concentration is wavering, I need Ritalin!
August 16th, 2009
Wahey… It’s 10.45pm and I’m bored! Noticed a little comment from Tracey about no posts so thought I’d write something. Meant to be meteor showers tonight in the north east, though it’s a bit cloudy but will keep an eye out, one day maybe we’ll have a cool meteor shower where they don’t burn up fully and pulverise the planet Yeah! In a bit of limbo at moment, my new little girl will be here on the 26th so only 2 weeks. Have to get my name out and about for some boiler work, so anyone reading this needing or who knows someone who needs boiler servicing, gas work, including Landlord’s and gas safety tickets, give me a shout. Money is tighter than a Nun’s crutch at the moment because of the ineptitude of our civil service and I will lose nearly a weeks wages after baby is born. Paid parking ticket today…Bastards! Scavenged £5 to put fuel in the motor as driving on fumes, pulled out of the garage after filling and the fuel low beep sounded 5 seconds later and the light came back on??? So at the moment I’m generally quite pissed off to be honest. But hey tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life… whatever bollocks!
August 12th, 2009
11.39pm on my birthday 2009, been a good day, pub lunch, wander around the reservoir then home to help make the girls some dinner. Watched a DVD in the evening and had a few tinnies and this is what remains. Had a little get together at the parents house last night which was a complete flop, nobody turned up, I blame it on the weather plus a couple were off sick. But not to worry, the big event this year is Mum and Dad’s 50th Anniversary, I still have a couple of invites I should pass on, also have to arrange the sounds which will involve hiring a PA system of sorts… I’m bored so bye.
August 2nd, 2009
Jade is my youngest daughter and she is fantastic, she is very pretty and has a brain too. I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful person to have for a daughter I think she is amazing and I can’t believe she is mine. It is almost like she is the offspring of a pair of superheros or something she is that great! Jade, how do you manage to be so delightfully witty, funny and intelligent the whole time? She is so bubbly and happy and loves everything there is about life and bends over backwards to help around the house with the everyday chores, she’s up at the crack of dawn washing and ironing and hoovers twice a day, she even does all the washing up after dinner with which we reward her with pocket money, we can however retract that quite easily though, not that we will have to as she is the perfect daughter and house companion who brightens everyday of our lives!
July 30th, 2009
I need to get back into the blogging frame of mind, some pictures would be nice, the problem is I tend to post stuff on Facebook although not much, so I don’t bother with here which is wrong. I despise Facebook really and the idea of having my own URL was so that I could play around with it and hopefully learn some some stuff about how it all works. At the moment Lisa is in hospital and I’m really impressed with the attention she is getting and she seems to have everybody on their toes, Mr Pascall her consultant really has made it apparent to his colleagues the level of care Lisa deserves. The idea is to weigh up the consequences, and compromise between how long her pelvis can hold on before there is any significant damage and allowing the baby as long as possible before a cesarean section as there are other risks to the baby if born pre-term. A very important decision will have to made by us after all tests are complete, an MRI scan looks imminent which will provide a good idea of what the risks are to Lisa’s hips if gestation continues for longer. I can only hope that it all goes smoothly and Lisa and the Baby come out the other end healthy.
July 29th, 2009
It’s rather odd the fact I am up at 6.40am on a Saturday. Though I’m not complaining I love mornings like this, it’s cool the sun is shining and the birds are singing, I actually feel like going for a wander over the downs but probably wont. I will probably just knock up some brekky and a nice cup of coffee and savour the moment, the lull before the storm so to speak. Today’s agenda includes a haircut as I look like a complete numpty at the moment, not sure what else, I will try and slip the gym in along the way as I am verging on fat bastard stage once again, back up to 103Kg, I did get down to 98Kg at the end of last year but gave up my routine because a change in circumstances, 5Kg is 11lb, not far of a stone. Health continues to degrade, asthma is getting worse to the point of using an inhaler 4 times+ a day, itchy episodes and generally feeling like a sack of shit all the time.
July 25th, 2009
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