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Add comment February 16th, 2016
Feeling a lot more comfortable with life after an horrendous week of toil and misery, next step is to choose and enter the next round of cycle events for this year, two would be good, three even better. I’m feeling motivated about improving my fitness again after the obligatory winter time slump (Sloth). Work is surprisingly effortless and I may even have a new van soon, only a few weeks and I’m back to a 7 hour day finishing at 4pm which is awesome. This winter seems to have been less of a struggle than those previous, I can only put it down to a refinement in my ‘Couldn’t Give a Toss’ attitude.
I still need that goal, that purpose and I am ever more confident that I will find. I have been to my GP and tried some tablets to compensate for the downturn in my mood from being off-diet, they didn’t work. I have done some research into what it is that I need to turn things around and the only ‘medicine’ available turns out to be ‘off prescription.’ I think that means it is at the Doctor’s discretion as to whether they will be appropriate as the trial data is a little ambiguous although the drug is deemed safe. Even so I have a particular idea in mind, if my GP does not agree maybe my online Doctor in Pakistan will.
So me having more motivation and generally being happier to boot, my family’s life will improve tenfold, it’s down to me getting the balance right and I can only do this on my own.
My Brother mentioned something about another blog I write being open and ‘Un’egotistic, I guess he was saying this blog is some sort of big ego trip. For those who know me well, I hope you agree this is not true, yes I talk about the way I feel a lot but I hope I keep it natural without pretentiousness, bigotry or self pity. You’re welcome to comment if you disagree 😉 I don’t write this for the amusement of others, nor to show off (or put down) who I am, it is simply a journal and I don’t know why I write it, it is possible I like the English language and use this as a platform to improve those language skills. Or it might benefit me in a more spiritual sense to be able to dump stuff out there, after all it’s not like it is a diary hidden away somewhere; there maybe a slim chance one day somebody will read it and feel a grand connection and make it their goal to find me and guide me or even learn from me… It’s unlikely but you never know.
Add comment February 15th, 2016
Strangely quiet at work possibly because of the mild weather, spent most of the day padding out time and when finally arrived home in the evening I find the wife has bought a bottle of Bushmills to make her self a hot toddy. Apparently ice is just as good and I was convinced I might take an immunising part in things, don’t want to contract any illnesses do I.
Add comment February 1st, 2016
Nothing new really, currently holding fort so to speak as the wife is incapacitated with viral pleurisy. Find I can still manage to keep things ship shape and in motion, I would make a great housewife, probably better than the wife. (I don’t think she reads this…Does she???) My next post maybe form a hospital bed but hey. Only just found some ‘Me’ time with a beer while the rest of the house sleeps, I know I have to get up for work in the morning but I’m going to take full advantage of these finite hours of the day where I can design or dream, write or roam, pause or play; the choice is mine.
Add comment January 31st, 2016
I have been warned that writing a blog may be a good thing. Developing a subject, and I have many, is a good starter evidentially. I could explain to you my dissatisfaction around my current vocation, I have had all this stuff going on in my head but lack the motivation to bring it into reality. I try so hard to avoid the dogma of societal programming but occasionally I fail, and I weep. But I always carry that same sense of reason.
2 comments January 25th, 2016
Haven’t posted in like gazzilions of amounts of time stuff… Good reasons I have none. But now I feel something stirring that makes me want to write inane bullshit. I have always questioned the existence of this blog and why I bother writing stuff because, let’s face it, I am no linguist or great story teller, I tend to air my thoughts and bore people that is all, if you are still reading I pity you.
After recent events I have so much shit going on my head and I can’t express how anxious it makes me being unable to rip someones’ eyeballs from the sockets! I have people judging me, that’s a product of societal programming but it bothers me not, I once became very selective of the ideas I created for posts within this blog so as to accommodate those who I knew read it and also to absolve me of any guilt regarding third party encounters. Now however, I couldn’t give a toss. If you don’t like what I write then fuck off and read something else, I am going to go into a realm I personally entered in my early teens that has controlled everything I ever did and every decision I have ever made in my life since… Death!
More specifically Conspiracy Data, Armageddon, Religion, Nuclear Weaponry, World War etc. We have entered a new era in these ‘end days,’ humanity should be ashamed of itself, there must be other thinkers who conclude equally and view the utter futility in which our society is governed. ‘Fear and greed are potent motivators. When both of these forces push in the same direction, virtually no human being can resist.’ Andrew Weil points out here how the government has us by the balls, they make us greedy, continuous advertisements in every media, on the pavements, adorning every city corner within our every day lives, driving us to consume, consume, consume! The fear comes form those Terrorists, created out of thin air by who the fuck knows, but for a very clear purpose, to make you subservient and responsive to the media. Consume! Fear! Oblige! I don’t know what they are up to, a New World Order possibly, a grand selection process pre-nuclear annihilation may even explain why there seems to be a drive for collection of massive amounts of personal data disguised as ‘Facebook Apps’ or ‘Surveys.’ These chosen ones, destined for the bunkers, may even be the church goers, the religiously inclined, chosen because they match the exact criteria for subservience within a New World Order…maybe.
Add comment December 6th, 2015
