I wander… Not only in my own solitude but when I am busiest, recreationally I relax and read or play a game or practice an instrument, when I work I seek the path of least resistance coupled with the most favourable outcome, finding ways to ease monotony is an area in which I have learned to excel, I am never bored. This is a sudden revelation and something compels me to try and explain, I have never regarded myself as lazy but analytical, I am far happier solving a problem than I am fitting ‘a part’ so to speak. Seeing an easier way to complete a task and not rewriting the procedure is futile to me. A bloke who I worked alongside in Edwards High Vacuum once said to me, ‘A lazy person will always find the easiest way to do things.’ Brilliant! The reason this phrase stayed with me is because of it’s subtle oxymoronic overtones and enduring prevalence to the fact that the possibility of creativity was so ignorantly rejected, or maybe he was just a very clever cynic (doubtful), a signature of our times I suppose. But there are rules that need to be adhered to so that we fit in and continue as we do.
The fact is I will continue to write all this random stuff down because it appeases me a little, puts certain things to bed and forces me to be honest. Like a private diary hidden under a bed, this blog infuses the passion in me to be open and honest, knowing that one day somebody will undoubtedly run their hand under the mattress.
March 6th, 2015
Had a crap day at work today. I do not classify my profession as “Plumber.” But there are some technically inept employees within the firm I am employed by, so it seems if the shit hits the fan, send Craig in to save the day! This is a procedure I wish to cut short before I become everybody’s bodge fixer. I have tactfully prepositioned myself in an electrical sense, 17th Edition looming, as most guys don’t do electrics (fair-do), whereas I don’t really want to do water, my job title is Commercial ‘GAS’ Engineer after all. But today everything fought me, I found myself cutting through brass nuts and slicing olives to enable things to fit, bends on pipes that are normally straight, in fact anything to make it hard work, appeared. Which is why I hate plumbing and I don’t do plumbing and I did a commercial gas course and I will wire anything just to get out of changing a f***ing 3 port valve!
I miss my desk at Drallim Industries, not a drop of water or a smelly council tenant in sight, just a PC with Proteus, a prototype bench and a kitchen across the hallway offering free coffee and 2 microwave ovens just incase the hippy from the shop floor beat you to it with her seaweed and chickpea falafel lunch, if that job re-appeared tomorrow paying 10K less than I earn today, I would snap it up. Nothing makes you feel more wasted than doing a job you are over qualified for and don’t like doing but pays more than the job you really want to do and should be doing!
I try to convince myself I have a decent job and still with a nose in on the technical aspects, but day to day, it sure doesn’t feel that way. It would be a start if I could apply my experience in a design sense or even in a supervisory role, but just waiting for an opportunity seems futile to me these days. So, carry on eh? Or talk to people? I need to move on, I cant be hanging upside down in an airing cupboard for much longer.
February 28th, 2015
All of a sudden I have toothache… What a bastard that is. The wife has Google’d several remedies and I have shoved all sorts of stuff into my gob. Bizarrely it isn’t too bad right now. So I can concentrate on an interesting post right? Don’t get too excited about that, my life is mundane, my literacy is poor and my imagination departed soon after the realisation that the real world my Parents warned me about, actually (exists). Although my perception of reality is quite different from that of my Parents, maybe because I am an engineer and the technical advances are… yeah ok with me. Or maybe because the religious backbone that once had society in it’s grip has since been uncompressed. Whereas I can quite understand my Dad’s frustration when trying to set up his new digital TV, I patiently offer advice that scoots aimlessly at a 45 degree angle above what used to be a technically competent person, though now in his mid seventies. I deal with old people on a daily basis and I do not consider my parents old, I don’t know whether that is because they are who they are, or whether they really do rock for their age. My old man still climbs roof ladders and scaffolding to do do his house repairs and my Mum keeps an immaculate garden and cooks a mean Apple Pie 😉
So toothache to Apple Pie. Could’ve been shorter hey.
February 22nd, 2015
Spotted a strange thing in the sky today and pointed it out to the wife that Venus had a partner, not a distant star but what appeared like a moon, only Venus doesn’t have any. After a little research I discovered it was Mars coupled with Venus, together in the early evening sky with a crescent moon. The Roman Goddess of Love and God of War dancing with a waxing crescent Moon, the Moon representing our deepest personal needs, our basic habits and reactions, and our unconscious. Many believe we are living in the ‘End of Days’ and you will find a myriad of representations of all sorts of planetary phenomena to back up their claims along with powerful poetic references from the Bible and other historical works of literature, I myself have always encompassed a pessimistic outlook, not because I never wanted to be disappointed nor the one to say ‘I told you so,’ more-so because of an overwhelming angst that consumed me through my late teens and twenties. Now a days I try to believe that a future does exists but still find it difficult, the way I deal with that is to live in the present and just do what ever is necessary as it arises. Alignments of the planets have occurred throughout history and mankind is still in existence, an old Uncle of mine said it well during the visitation of Hale-Bop in 1997, that apparently, as the saying goes, there follows a period of great misery after the visitation of a comet in the skies, his comment quite sarcastically was, ‘Periods of great misery in humanity follow every event.’ Something will always happen before any catastrophe, quite randomly or even coincidentally. Tonight though I was in awe of the planets spiralling with the moon on this very clear winters evening.
February 22nd, 2015
Actually a little bored tonight, have something inside me that urges me to do something, but I find a day’s work just physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually drains me to the point that, by the time all kids are wrapped up in bed and I have some me time, I’m not actually there any more. This is probably just an excuse for the fact I never do anything anyway, if I was really honest with myself, I would have to agree that I am a lazy, uninspired, slightly selfish, anxious, dim witted & good for nothing loser. I am however, one step ahead in the fact I recognise this. There are only three laws that apply to dealing with any situation that isn’t working, walking away from it, changing it, or to fully accept it. Hmmm… Well I can’t really ‘walk away’ unless I start taking drugs or top myself, ‘accepting’ I am this way is not an option, so that leaves me ‘change’ as the way forward.
So a short ‘To Do’ list:
Exercise – This could involve getting the bike back out or setting up that gym in the garage.
Project – Design an idea and (here is the crucial part) SEE IT THROUGH!
Chill – As a friend reminded me, it is important to get out into nature and just empty the mind.
Read – I’ve read some good books but have more on the shelf I need to make time for.
Share – Focus more on what those close expect from me so I let people down less often.
Diet – From a mood enhancing perspective, this part is more important to me than most people.
Career – Think more about where I am heading and how I can steer towards good fortune for my family.
There, I feel better already.🙂
February 18th, 2015
Hey everybody, just been tweaking the PC, now have a blue fan in the front as I originally intended. Set up a profile I am happy with and chopped out the LED’s from the old fan and bolted it to the top of the case to exhale the GTX970 heat. So I now have a very quite but quite nifty PC. Completed Far Cry 4 and that’s about all really. Work is work, four commercial guys have left in the past two months which means call out is now down to 1 in 3 (as if), they are advertising for commercial supervisor which I will not be applying for… The family are all coughing and doing my head in, feeling a little more enthusiastic and may even attempt to plan something real soon 😕
February 17th, 2015
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