Euro English

November 8th, 2008

The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, “S” will be used instead of the soft “C”. Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard “C” will be replaced with “K”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters will have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when “the troublesome “Ph” will be replased with “F”. This will make words like “Fotograf 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “E’s” in the laguag is disgrasful, and they to would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “Z” & “W” with,” V”

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “O” kan be dropd from vords Containing “OU” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil hav finali kum tru!

Entry Filed under: Personal