There’s something unspoken of like the biting and cuts of the key to happiness and the assumption of a life of wonder. ‘Wonder,’ a somewhat homonymous word that confuses the idea of happiness as being wonderful, is it the perception of beauty in your life or the concentration of thought, thought that does not have to include beauty, more so thoughts could even be vengeful, disastrous or even evil. As at this time I am wondering why I feel the way I do, like when someone that matters to you cuts you off, flicks you like a light switch to extinguish everything that lit up your life together and plunges you into darkness. Wondering where the wonder went and unable feel the walls for being enveloped in such blackness let alone raise the dimmer at least for a glimpse. In time I may find my own torch from which the hue may have changed and the room could look very different from how it was originally perceived. Still I wonder.
June 10th, 2023
I close my eyes and I clearly see a direction. But it is a never ending corridor of locked rooms, barely lit and stale. However there appears to be a purpose, a functional ending to the mundanity, obscure but present in the darkened realms of the unseeable. One day, maybe one of those doors will open and prevent my drift into the darkness beyond.
May 23rd, 2023
Anti matter may be the equal or opposite to consciousness. Existence is a complex structure of frequencies, waves that travel towards a source that consciousness can decipher into matter, those things we all perceive day to day. The matter we all call the universe exists because of the union of resonance and harmony, vibrations that which consciousness receives are tuned into a frequency of perception. We are a product of the inevitability of the cosmos, transient, fleeting, but all part of that waveform. Whatever message it may be attempting to carry, our lifetimes are imprinted on it in their entirety, that program of the universe.
May 4th, 2023
Quietly assuming we all have a purpose in life as all these pathetic memes on social media profess, what is it? We inhabit a microscopic timeframe in the evolution of the universe, we are just a by-product of how things once were not how they should be. The future of the planet at this time has nothing to do with you, as a collective we have more of an influence, global warming for instance that has been shoved down our throats for decades so far, that appears to be our doing, but in terms of historic global fluctuations in temperature? Miniscule, and yet with all that, the Earth and life still exists. Our purpose as nature intended is pure and simple, procreate, pass on those genes that have led you to this point without dying off, survival of the fittest. Once all those who profess the purposes of life on social media dissipate into the realms of genetic inadequacy, then the real reason for the evolution of the human species can be equated.
April 15th, 2023
Ok I just went into Geek Mode to find some kind of answer:
Going by the average weight of children 1-18 years old plus the average weight of adults (UK) the weight of the global population is 48,480×10^9 Kg*. Assuming they all jump 50cm high, the force required to overcome gravity and jump to that height combined with an equal force to bring back down would equal 23.27×10^13 Joules, a lot of energy. Now compare that to a relatively small thermo-nuclear device such as Fat Boy that blew up Hiroshima in August 1945 which was 1.8×10^13 Joules. Everyone jumping would exert 13 times the power of that bomb. But compared to the Russian Tsar Bomba weighing in with a mahoosive 50 megaton yield, the energy created by that blast was 20,000×10^13 Joules nearly 900 times the energy of the people jumping up and down. Although the destruction from the Tsar Bomba was phenomenal, the energy was released in a room sized space as apposed to spread around the globe. So I think the Earth would cope just fine.
*This is assuming everyone can jump that height which they cant for various reasons so this figure is way over the top.
March 8th, 2023
Right I am out of my mind right now with continuous narrative coming out of my head. I feel I should sit and repeat it online, for no other reason than to keep me focussed on something pointless like most of us are forced to. Ignoring the big issues not something I adore to…’ight. I feel threatened by reality and when I speak to people who have some sort of personality and they disagree is bothers me. Big time, we are sitting ducks, Forget the old times when people bunch together to fight of the crimes, Our sedentary is going to be the destruction of our reality. Peace to the lovers. x
February 7th, 2023
I have been thrusted out, by usual turmoil. A massive global war is breaking out., It’s happening guys!!!! I watch all the the dumb fucks I have had the opportunity to grow amongst just dither…. It was blatantly obvious how blinded we would be to annihilation because of the nonsense that has been infused into your souls. When that flash and radiated hatred peels your skin, maybe you might get it, but just for a moment before you burn unnecessarily you will now the truth,
February 2nd, 2023
It’s a beautiful November morning, a little warmer than it should be but hey everybody deserves a car and a holiday right? I am in contemplation mode, wondering what change I need to make to create a new path into the future, I never really had goals in life either long or short term, just living day to day and riding the tide of misfortune. Maybe that’s it, I should create a goal? Many of my interests have withered, my space has shrunk and many of my tools are in storage, it’s true to say I never did take any of the opportunities presented to me in the past to flourish and use what was at hand to my own advantage. Should I revitalise anything from the past or maybe learn something new maybe more physical? Should I move somewhere else? As long as I have a comfortable space at the end of the day, I have never been attached particularly to any of the buildings I have lived in, except my home from when I was child on the Isle of Wight, but that wasn’t just a building it was where my family lived, I felt safe and secure. Ultimately, I have no idea what goal to set, all I know is it cannot be too far into the future, at least not with Putin and all his willy waving of late.
November 12th, 2022
On call today, one call out and then some long talks, one with my mother and one with the mother of my first born, and a text chat with a mentor of significant intellect. Monday I will talk to a solicitor, in terms of a mother manipulating children to feel disgust for their biological father for what ever means, it’s abhorrent, I never thought I would ever have to deal with such a situation, but here I am. I have no words to describe how I feel.
One side of me wants to kick the doors in, but the rational side of me says no, do it honestly as you are the most honest person in this predicament and all else is a fabrication.
A web of lies and drama act out as a play, based on a novel where every chapter is pure fiction.
September 4th, 2022
On three day weeks for a month to use up some annual leave, I just wish it was forever, I have actually had some time to get my house in order, or at least begin to, things are looking quite positive for a change. There is a spanner in the works though in the form of an ex-wife preventing me from seeing my children, hopefully it’s just a phase that will pass as most things do with time. Next I need to re-invigorate my creativity, I stopped my guitar lessons as my wages took a dip and I have no room for any of my usual technical antics, most of my gear is packed away in the parent’s cellar, my shed and the ex-wife’s garage, unless she has dumped it, I really hope not as that would be going a tad too far. Anyway I promised a post per week and I failed as per the norm, but I will add this and that as I feel the need. Meanwhile I will have a beer and watch some T.V.
August 27th, 2022
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