:(

Why is it, when you pour your life and soul into your own personal novel the protagonist comes and shits on your head?

Add comment August 1st, 2016

June Catch Up…

Getting things on track again and feeling a lot more positive, it is almost certain that my motivation and general mood take a nose dive when I do not follow my PKU diet that I am crap at, so I have to resort to other means to elevate my well-being and I feel this will have its permanence for some time to come. World affairs aside, in my bubble things are looking quite good, Ava has practically passed her dairy trial and this will open up a much expanded diet for her, I couldn’t express what this means to me. She has been elevated from ‘Bronze’ to ‘Gold’ in her grouping by her violin teacher who believes so much in her and she is really enjoying her dance classes. Sophie is loving her Ballet too and myself, the wife and the grandparents are all going to see them perform today at the Ratton Academy of Performing Arts. Joe has joined the Eastbourne Otters swimming club, it’s really good to see him enjoying something he is quite passionate about and he is doing really well, already a better swimmer than me!

On the work front we are in summer hours and I have negotiated a more flexible approach for my working hours which is a great benefit to the family, I am trying to make a difference on the commercial side of things to see if one day I can shed the domestic ball and chain. Have a date to pick up a brand new van too 😉 I am registered to start a degree course towards a BSc or Beng (decision to be made after 1st year), this is more for a path towards a personal goal rather than a career decision and also a chance for me to develop my focus and attention, something I have struggled with my entire life. Along side this I have also signed up for an online MIT course in electronics as if you know me well, this is of particular interest to me and could be channeled along the career route depending on what lies ahead.

Bike wise I have faltered, I had ambition to get out and train for certain off road events this year, but my motivation seems to have steered me down a more cerebral trail. There is still time to get registered, get out and get fit for the London to Eastbourne event in September which is something I really enjoyed last year, time will tell.

All in all a high point 🙂 Peace All.

Add comment June 18th, 2016

Sophie

Autism. Think about this, more and more children are diagnosed each year having autistic traits, society generally calls them weird. What if it’s a natural progression of evolution toward the idea that parents aspire to improve their child’s personal development? Thus resulting in the natural state of newborns able to follow an introvert path of self-improvement devoid of interaction with other children. Year by year the number of Autistic children increases, remember these children mostly grow up into very intelligent and useful members of society though the early years are more challenging for the parents, weeding out parents who are not worthy (natural selection). We may be on the cusp of transcendence to a higher intellect, these ‘autistic’ children could be our gateway to the future, non functioning in a society that cannot yet meet their needs but with the vision and intelligence to travel beyond the realms of common thinking and create a better society.

Add comment May 2nd, 2016

Samsung Now Shipping ‘World’s Largest’ Hard Drive

The 15.36TB “PM1633a” drive is designed for use in enterprise storage systems.

Source: Samsung Now Shipping ‘World’s Largest’ Hard Drive

Add comment March 8th, 2016

Winter…

Almost a week has past and Lisa is up and about again, it appears there is a cloud hovering though, I cannot pinpoint it, is it me or is it my wife? Either way I am sure we will overcome the darkness and celebrate in the light as we normally do. Winter this year although quiet at work, has been particularly dull and miserable and I think it has had a negative effect on us both, we need some sunshine and happiness. It may be my mood again swamping our lifestyle or it could be just circumstantial, January February are usually tough psychologically and things tend to pick up as the year progresses.

I think it is the natural order of things, in ancient times hope was portrayed in the rebirth of the sun and celebrated at the winter solstice (Christmas) and also when the daylight hours began to become longer than the night, the spring equinox (Easter). Celebrations at these times occurred because our primitive ancestry were shitting themselves the sun would disappear forever so sat in anticipation for its return, once the setting sun’s traverse along the horizon began to reverse, the promise of the light of spring illuminated those souls during the depressive winter drudgery. I guess things do not change much, no matter how modern times try to gloss it over.

Add comment February 28th, 2016

Another Day Out

Lisa isn’t well at all today, I have never seen her this unwell. I have had to take the day off work to care for the children so she can rest, to me it appears to be migraine but I have said if she doesn’t improve I shall be dragging her to the GP, it really is that odd. So I’ve got some washing on, the kids are playing Minecraft and munching on prawn crackers and I am up for a day as a housewife… again. Ava is being very good and doing her own bolus feed, she occasionally protests but realises that it is for her benefit and gets on with it. It’s nice seeing things from the ground so to speak, being very much a part of my family is the most important thing to me, this may make me appear unreliable or not particularly punctual but these are modern issues that have come about since we invented the clock and the calendar, why time things, it goes against the natural order of things, just be and do as and when. We will get Lisa back on her feet and carry on regardless.

Add comment February 23rd, 2016

A Monday.

Yeah a day off work today and some time to collect my thoughts. I am quite a happy bastard when it comes to it, there’s a bit of luck thrown in there too, my family are kind and considerate my children well behaved (mostly) and my wife just awesome, I just do not complain. Having this solid foundation gets me thinking, maybe I could possibly achieve something? Then Mr. Pessimism steps up and kicks me straight in the bollocks, I am not going to change am I? I look up to people who have had the discipline to educate themselves by whatever means and I wonder why, with all my fascination of things, can I not achieve? I also am getting a little tired of the bigotry of people I know on Facebook, I’ve always been open minded and respectful of others’ opinions, but it’s getting tiresome and I have begun to fight back with reasonable debate, this either makes people see reason or just carry on being a twat, the latter being the most predominant.

Add comment February 22nd, 2016

My Little Sophie

Working up the coast in Worthing today on a commercial service when the office ring me and ask me to contact Lisa urgently. It has become evident that Sophie’s heart condition is worsening and she has been put on a list for heart surgery 🙁 I remember how odd I felt when Ava had a Colonoscopy so I’m not sure how I am going to deal with this. Of course I will be there for my family but my mind has a bizarre way off dealing with stress of this kind, not looking forward to it. I need to talk to the consultant to find out exactly what is going on, he did explain to Lisa but she didn’t take much in unfortunately, so on the next appointment, I will be there with a list of questions. Let’s hope it is a simple procedure and she can get on with a normal life and there are no complications.

Add comment February 18th, 2016

Memory That Lasts Forever: New Quartz Coin Can Store 360TB of Data for 14 Billion Years

Worried about being remembered? Well, worry no more. This eternal 5D data storage could preserve the history of humankind for ages to come.

Source: Memory That Lasts Forever: New Quartz Coin Can Store 360TB of Data for 14 Billion Years

Add comment February 16th, 2016

Egotistic Not

Feeling a lot more comfortable with life after an horrendous week of toil and misery, next step is to choose and enter the next round of cycle events for this year, two would be good, three even better. I’m feeling motivated about improving my fitness again after the obligatory winter time slump (Sloth). Work is surprisingly effortless and I may even have a new van soon, only a few weeks and I’m back to a 7 hour day finishing at 4pm which is awesome. This winter seems to have been less of a struggle than those previous, I can only put it down to a refinement in my ‘Couldn’t Give a Toss’ attitude.

I still need that goal, that purpose and I am ever more confident that I will find. I have been to my GP and tried some tablets to compensate for the downturn in my mood from being off-diet, they didn’t work. I have done some research into what it is that I need to turn things around and the only ‘medicine’ available turns out to be ‘off prescription.’ I think that means it is at the Doctor’s discretion as to whether they will be appropriate as the trial data is a little ambiguous although the drug is deemed safe. Even so I have a particular idea in mind, if my GP does not agree maybe my online Doctor in Pakistan will.

So me having more motivation and generally being happier to boot, my family’s life will improve tenfold, it’s down to me getting the balance right and I can only do this on my own.


My Brother mentioned something about another blog I write being open and ‘Un’egotistic, I guess he was saying this blog is some sort of big ego trip. For those who know me well, I hope you agree this is not true, yes I talk about the way I feel a lot but I hope I keep it natural without pretentiousness, bigotry or self pity. You’re welcome to comment if you disagree 😉 I don’t write this for the amusement of others, nor to show off (or put down) who I am, it is simply a journal and I don’t know why I write it, it is possible I like the English language and use this as a platform to improve those language skills. Or it might benefit me in a more spiritual sense to be able to dump stuff out there, after all it’s not like it is a diary hidden away somewhere; there maybe a slim chance one day somebody will read it and feel a grand connection and make it their goal to find me and guide me or even learn from me… It’s unlikely but you never know.

Add comment February 15th, 2016

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